If a man uses these 8 phrases in a conversation, he’s insincere and probably leading you on (2024)

There’s a fine line between being charming and deceitful in conversation.

As a woman, it’s essential to understand this subtle distinction. Men may sometimes use certain phrases that seem innocent but are actually laced with insincerity, their motives hidden under a veil of sweet words.

Speaking as Tina Fey, the founder of the Love Connection blog and relationship specialist, I’ve seen this happen all too often. Some men have the knack of leading women on, captivating them with their words while their intentions are far from genuine.

In this article, I’ll share with you 8 phrases that, if used by a man in conversation, are strong indicators he’s not being sincere and possibly just playing with your emotions.

So buckle up ladies, let’s dive into some language decoding and help you discern truth from deception.

1) “You’re the only one who understands me”

Navigating the maze of human relationships can be tricky, and it’s often the case that men use certain phrases to create an illusion of intimacy.

One phrase that often crops up in my consultations is, “You’re the only one who understands me.” On the surface, it seems flattering and creates a sense of exclusivity. But beware, it’s a classic line often used by insincere men to create a false bond.

It’s a way to make you feel special, unique among all others. But here’s the catch- it could just be a manipulative ploy to reel you in. If a man truly feels understood by you, his actions will show it without needing to resort to such clichéd phrases.

Always bear in mind, actions speak louder than words. So if this phrase is not backed by genuine behavior, it might be an indication that he’s not as sincere as he portrays himself to be.

So ladies, while words can be sweet, always cross-check them with his actions. That’s your real yardstick for measuring sincerity.

2) “Let’s just see where things go”

This phrase, ladies, is a classic. In my years of relationship counselling, I’ve noticed that “Let’s just see where things go” is an all-time favorite for men who aren’t entirely committed.

Now don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with taking things slow. But when this phrase is consistently used as an excuse to avoid defining a relationship, it’s a major red flag. You may be left in a perpetual state of uncertainty, wondering where you stand.

As the great Maya Angelou once said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” If he’s constantly leaving things up in the air and avoiding commitment, he’s showing you his intent – or lack thereof.

So heed Maya Angelou’s wise words. If a man consistently dodges defining the relationship, he might just be leading you on. Keep your eyes open and trust your instincts.

3) “I’m not like other guys”

Oh, the number of times I’ve heard this one! “I’m not like other guys”, a phrase that’s supposed to make you feel that he’s somehow superior, different, and more worth your time.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve into how such phrases can create an unhealthy dynamic.

They are designed to make you feel as though you’ve hit the jackpot and should therefore put up with anything to hold onto him.

But here’s the truth – every person is unique, not just him. Drawing comparisons this way is a classic move to keep you on your toes and make you feel like you have something exceptional that you could lose.

If he truly isn’t like other guys, his actions will show it. He won’t need to remind you of it at every turn. So, stay alert for this phrase and always remember that actions speak louder than words.

4) “I don’t deserve you”

Now, this one might surprise you. “I don’t deserve you” sounds like a compliment, right? It seems like he’s acknowledging your worth and putting you on a pedestal.

But here’s the counterintuitive part – it can often be a manipulative phrase used by men who are not sincere. It creates an illusion of humility while subtly shifting the burden of maintaining the relationship onto you.

When he says he doesn’t deserve you, it can subtly imply that you should be grateful he’s with you at all. It can also serve as a ready-made excuse for any future wrongdoings – after all, he already told you that he doesn’t deserve you.

Ladies, while it may sound flattering and self-deprecating, be wary if this phrase is frequently used without any significant reason. It might just be another tactic to lead you on.

5) “I’m just really busy right now”

In today’s hectic world, we all have moments when life gets a bit too chaotic. But when “I’m just really busy right now” becomes a regular refrain, it’s time to take notice.

From my personal experience, I can tell you that when a man genuinely cares about you, he’ll make time for you, no matter how packed his schedule is. It’s as simple as that.

If he’s consistently too busy to spend quality time with you or even text back promptly, that’s a clear sign he’s not as committed to the relationship as he should be. After all, we make time for the things that matter to us.

6) “You’re too good for me”

This phrase might sound like a compliment, but let’s be brutally honest here. “You’re too good for me” is often a manipulative tool used by insincere men.

When he says you’re too good for him, he’s indirectly hinting that he can’t meet your expectations. It’s like he’s preparing you for disappointment, so when it happens, he can say, “I told you so.”

This phrase often works to lower your expectations and make you more accepting of less than desirable behavior. It creates a narrative where his wrongdoings are justified because he already told you he wasn’t enough.

Don’t fall for this. You deserve someone who feels lucky to have you and strives to meet your standards, not someone who prepares you for disappointment.

7) “I don’t want to hurt you”

This phrase is a tricky one. On the surface, it seems like he’s looking out for your feelings. But in my experience, “I don’t want to hurt you” often comes from men who are already planning to let you down.

It’s like he’s setting the stage, so when the hurt eventually comes, it seems like he had warned you. But here’s the truth: if he genuinely cared about not hurting you, he wouldn’t.

Remember the wise words of Oprah Winfrey, “When people show you who they are, believe them.” If a man tells you he doesn’t want to hurt you, it might be an early warning sign of what’s to come. So be alert and trust your gut instincts.

8) “We’re just having fun, right?”

Let’s get real here. This phrase is a clear sign that he’s not serious about the relationship. “We’re just having fun, right?” is often used by men who are unwilling to commit and want to keep things casual.

It’s a way for him to avoid taking responsibility for your feelings. It’s his escape route, his way of saying that he never promised anything serious.

If you’re looking for a committed relationship, this phrase is a red flag. You deserve someone who values you and wants the same things as you. So don’t settle for someone who’s just looking for ‘fun’, when you want so much more.

Final thoughts

Navigating the world of relationships can feel like walking through a minefield. But with a keen eye and an understanding of the common phrases used by insincere men, you can protect yourself from being led on.

It’s not just about the words he uses, but also his actions. If they don’t align, trust your instincts. You deserve honesty and sincerity in your relationships.

For more insights on navigating the complexities of relationships and breaking free from unhealthy dynamics, check out my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

Always keep in mind, you’re stronger than you think, and you’re worth more than empty words.